3 Life Lessons We All Know But Keep Forgetting for Some Reasons
A 16-year-old’s note to himself, and to you guys.
This article was originally published on my Medium. But because it was kind of personal, that’s why I wanted to publish it in my newsletter too.
I am still deciding among three four options and would ultimately settle for one something to publish every Wednesday. But until then, enjoy a little diversity :)
[Casual post ahead]
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This article may look pessimistic or as if I am depressed, but I am not. It’s just a combination of life lessons and learnings from books.
These things sometimes seem like the easiest task to do, and at the very next moment might seem like an impossible assignment altogether. So it becomes very important to always remind ourselves of these small yet significant habits.
It might be hard; it might be easy. But we can always try.
There’s nothing new in this article. You know all the things which I am going to talk about below, I’m sure. This article is more of a friendly reminder than anything else. Let’s go!
I am currently regretting one of my decisions. What did I do? I lent my friend some money. And now even when I have money, I don’t have money, as he is not returning.
It’s not that I am saying you should not lend money to anyone. What I want to say is that don’t let them take advantage of you.
So the case is that when I am asking for my money back, he is giving weird excuses like he has not got any at this time, or that he can’t send them until we meet because he doesn’t have Paytm and blah blah blah...
He has little to no concern for the situation and I have reminded him at least 20 times that I need my money back and that it’s high time he returned it.
I am sure he will not run away with the money he owes me (that’s a relief!) but if I give this situation a retrospective exploration, I arrive at the conclusion that I should not have lent him money recklessly.
I thought he was my friend, so I should not say ‘No’ to him. And that’s my mistake. I didn’t set boundaries.
So no lending money unnecessarily and definitely not to this friend. Poking someone to return your money back and having arguments over a thing that one party overvalues and the other undervalues will only ruin a friendship.
And this is not limited to money or friends. Saying no and standing for yourself and your interests is one of the foundations that you need to stand true to. No compromise. Okay, only for your BFF and not for every friend.
Take care of yourself (too)
I go to a cyber cafe every day. I write most of my Medium articles there. It’s a quiet place with no distractions.
The shop owner has a very interesting—if not quite depressing—love affair.
In brief: He is a married man of 30 with a child, but loves this other girl who is way younger than him, just turned 18. All three of them, his wife, his girlfriend, and him (of course) know everything. And they are okay with that.
I sometimes joke that I might see the first polygamous relationship in real life, thanks to the three of you.
Keeping this complex chemistry aside, what I observe in him is that he doesn’t put himself in the equation. He is the last on his priority list.
I can say so because it’s quite visible in his words, and not in a pyaar me pagal (mad in love) kind.
He was married early under family pressures, without his consent, obviously, and that led him to hate his family and neglect his self-worth.
He doesn’t even know of a burden he is carrying (his regret, his rage, his pessimism) and that vividly appears in his character sometimes.
He has become so busy taking care of some, and deeply hating others, that he has lost himself somewhere amidst it.
Don’t do anything similar to yourself. Spend time with yourself. In silence. With nothing. Looking and appreciating yourself. Know your worth.
There is nothing wrong with taking care of others. But not at the expense of your own mental health and peace of mind.
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no
I borrow this piece of wisdom from Ankur Warikoo, one of my favourite creators on YouTube.
He is a sucker for cold emails. He loves them so much and can’t seem to have enough of them.
I got inspired by one of his videos and wrote two cold emails. One to a metaverse company and one to Ankur.
I received a reply from both of them. A positive one. And that taught me this lesson of asking before assuming. People are ready to help, but most of the time, they are well and you must go to them if you are thirsty. Don’t assume vice versa.
Read the full story of what these cold emails were about here.
In short, don’t hesitate to ask for what you want. Let’s not take it to the extreme by saying you’ve got to snatch the opportunity. But at least you must ask if you’re serious about it.
I hope this article added some value to your life. It’s been less than a month and we are already a family of 70. Thank you for subscribing :)
Good advice. Setting of appropriate boundaries and prioritizing oneself is very important - we can't help others if we don't help ourselves.