Welcome to the Toxic World of Self-help

Be aware, this drug has the worst addiction.

I recently came to know how toxic my mindset has become already.

I was talking to a friend over the phone the other day. We both love to read.

Amidst our discussion, the topic shifted to self-help. We started to discuss popular books in the genre. It was an insanely long conversation. We talked about this for an hour.

This was the first time I noticed how toxic some of my words and ideas sounded.

But the thing that worried me was the fact that they sounded so right in the light of self-help. I didn’t even know the things I have read about aged like this.

Thanks to this conversation, I was able to judge myself unconsciously while I was busy presenting my point of view over the call. After the call, consciously so.

And you know what, I had sheer regret for how utterly ridiculous those words sound when said in an absolute scenario.

This made me curious enough to go down the rabbit hole and see for myself if self-help is doing me and possibly all of us more harm than good.

The literal meaning of self-help

Let’s set the ground equal and eyes straight at the arena by starting this article off with the basics.

The thing we are talking about is self-help.

Wait a second. What is it? It’s self-help, right?

Its literal meaning is to help yourself. Then why should we over-rely on some external sources be it books, YouTube videos, Instagram Reels, etc to help us?

I’m not against those. But the sheer amount of content we unconsciously keep consuming is a big reason to get worried about. And “self-help gurus” have got a big profit in this game.

Let me borrow and share with you a piece of wisdom from Seneca.

“You must linger among a limited number of master thinkers, and digest their works, if you derive ideas which shall win firm hold in your mind

[…] and in reading of many books is distraction,” he writes in one of his letters to his friend Lucilius.

It’s powerful because it’s counterintuitive. When everyone’s telling you to read more books, you should question them why.

Just because a CEO reads a book every week doesn’t mean you need to read too.

Those words of Seneca are just as true, if not more than they were thousands of years ago.

Note these two points:

• Self-help means helping yourself. Limit external influence. Take help only when needed. Go to yourself when you’re in a trouble, for you know what’s in your best interest.

• Less is more. It’s a classic. A cliche too, maybe. But true. Try to limit your intake before it starts to become toxic or addictive.

A truth that’s dancing in front of your eyes but you aren’t seeing it

One thing that should be apparent but isn’t: The self-help industry’s growth is directly proportional to your insecurities, negative self-talk and making you feel inferior and disappointed in yourself.

It’s in the best interest of every party involved to make you feel that way to make more money.

You call it enlightenment, I call it “self-doubt yourself to an extent there’s no coming back without my book/course/seminar” in disguise.

No book is bad in itself. But also, it’s not any good for you if you don’t need it.

Force-reading just because it’s popular and convincing your brain you’re doing something worthwhile when you’re just “action-faking” is neither sustainable nor beneficial.

I have read so many books that had absolutely no relation or use to the situation I was in. Yet, just because they were famous, I thought they would magically make all my problems disappear. I will find the answers.

In reality, nothing like this ever happens.

Let this truth dance in front of your eyes and consciously try to observe what moves your eyes are failing to notice that has become so addictive.

A boy who got lost in the forest

There was a boy who was lost in the middle of the forest. It was as dark as midnight.

He could see nothing. He could only hear the silent sound of the forest that scared him.

Suddenly, something unpredictable happened.

He started to see the speck of light go in and off all around him. Some near and some far.

He started chasing them. But before he was able to reach out and see what it was, they’d disappear.

He ran after them, one by one, in all directions, as fast as he could. But, nothing. He was lost already and now he is tired.

He sat down and the lights suddenly started going on and off producing flashes and darkness in fractions of a second.

He stood up again. Exhausted himself even more but to no result.

He finally laid down on the ground. Turning on his belly, he tried to cover his eyes with his hands to dodge those flashes.

As he pulled up his right hand, it slightly touched the surface of his jeans’ pockets and he felt a bump.

Emptying his pocket, he pulled a torch out of it. He didn’t know how it got there.

But there it was. Light of his own. He rested a little more, drank water from the stream some hundred meters away, and on he went on his journey to finding the route out of the forest

Closing thoughts

As it’s said even good things are beneficial only up to an extent. Even medicines have side effects and eating too much causes obesity.

We treat the physical world from this perspective. But when it comes to information, we think more is good.

It’s high time we put a cap on our limits, or else the modern world will make you feel burnout even without you doing anything.

Self-help is the best place to start. Limit external influence and have an honest talk with yourself, regularly.

I hope you found today’s issue informative. For more such interesting articles, consider subscribing (it’s FREE!), if you haven’t already.